Monkey talk

I work on a science magazine for school-going children, and by 'school', I don't mean preschool, which is why, I find it very amusing when I see Xena taking such great interest in my work. Sometimes, she even asks me questions as if she's my boss. Actually, even my boss doesn't ask me the kind of questions she does. Sample these (and imagine her saying all this with a serious face): Is the next issue's cover ready? Can I see it today? Have you finished checking all the proofs?

Whoa whoa whoa.

She also loves to flip through past issues and if she finds something interesting, she brings it to me and then I have to explain to her what's going on. Some times, it's simple enough to be explained to her ("Banana slugs are named so because they are slugs that look like bananas.") but sometimes, I struggle because she's too young to understand some of the things.

Today, she found an infographic showing the evolution of man and then she wanted to know 'why the monkey had turned into a man'. I tried to break it down for her, but as I found out, it's really, really hard to explain evolution to a 5-year-old. Their distorted understanding and follow-up questions will drive you insane.

In the evening, she had her swim lesson. Her coach has got to be the most patient man on earth because she interrupts him some 3458957847 times with random facts and incidents and he listens and nods in mid-water. I sit by the poolside and I can hear every word of their conversation.

Today's conversation:

Coach - Okay Xena, head under water... blow bubbles...
Xena - Coach, did you know that you were a monkey?
Coach - Haaaa?!
Xena - All the monkeys became people.
Coach - ...
Xena - Everyone was a monkey.
Coach (not knowing what else to say) - We are all monkeys. Okay Xena, head under water... blow bubbles...

All right, time to go google 'How to explain evolution to a preschooler' before she calls her coach a monkey again.