This post is a thenga to those who did not believe my photosynthesis theory. Here she is, admitting it herself. Ha!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
My two cents
Today is 13 May 2013. The date is significant to us because this was my edd, my expected delivery date. It's a different matter though that li'l Xena had to be taken out two months early to save my life and hers. For babies born that early, the edd is still used as their medical birth date till they turn two. This is known as their 'adjusted age'. They are expected to catch up to their peers by the adjusted age of two. So, today is the day Xena truly turns two. So far, Viv, Xena and I have done good, and things have more or less turned out okay.
Viv has been asking me to document all the 'right' things we have done so far in raising her, and now is a good time. We are at the two-year threshold, a good time to look back, and prepare for the storm (if there is one) ahead. Of course, there are lots of things which have been less than ideal. Ideally, I would have delivered at full term, Xena wouldn't be in the ICU for two months, she wouldn't have had surgery at the young age of six days, she wouldn't have had a host of other health problems, such as bleeding in the brain, holes in her heart, and weak lungs. Ideally, she would be wolfing down her food, instead of being solely on milk for 15 months, before starting on puree very reluctantly. Ideally, she wouldn't be stuck in the 3rd percentile for growth, while her peers grew in all directions. But this post is not about all the things that went wrong, it's about all the things that went right. I won't go into the obvious ones like the importance of breast milk, and reading to/with your child etc. etc. I will just jot down some specific things we have done which have made managing Xena a relatively easier task. (Of course, if the terrible twos are as terrible as I have heard and read they are, I will need a whole new set of strategies to deal with it. Any tips from experienced parents?)
So here's my list of 'How we stayed sane for the first two years':
Read read read
And I'm not even talking about Xena's reading yet. I'm talking about my own reading. All first-time pregnant women read. A lot. And then as the kid grows, the reading goes down. I have seen it with myself too. But I still try to read about new research findings, new parenting approaches, etc. Some may argue that there is no point reading all that and it's just information overload and one should just follow one's instinct, and maybe the advice of the elders. I don't quite agree. Well, for one, we live in a different world now, we have access to many technologies, good and bad. There are new gadgets which can make our lives easier, but come at a cost. Our kids are exposed to new and different things, whether we approve or not. Our parenting instinct is simply not equipped to parent amidst all of these distractions. Researchers now know that TV is bad for kids, but the long-term effects of the iPhone and iPad on this generation of kids now will only be seen much much later when they're all grown-up (and hopefully not screwed-up). So I read a lot and I talk to everyone in my support groups and I gather all the information first. And then I let my instinct take over and pick what seems most scientific/reasonable/practical.
Support groups
I was never a big fan of support groups before I got pregnant. But now I am. They are not just an incredible source of support, they provide a wealth of knowledge and experience. Parenting is really really hard (I sense parents nodding and non-parents skipping this post) and sometimes you need more than just your primary support system. As a first-time mom, I had a thousand questions and not everything was on google. At the moment I am in three different support groups - the premature babies support group, a group of local mommies with the same edd (yes, there are 92 of us with kids the same age!) and another, comprising mainly expats, based in the east of Singapore where I live. So I get a great mix of eastern and western views and I can pick and choose the advice I want. I am still moderately active in the premature babies support group but more as a 'senior' now. From asking questions, I have graduated to answering questions of the 'freshies' whose babies are in the ICU. Most of the time, we 'seniors' just show them the before (when they were in the ICU, with all the tubes) and after pictures of our warriors, and that itself gives them a lot of courage. Pictures do speak a thousand words.
One-on-one time
My sister is a big advocate of one-on-one time with babies, and because of her insistence I went and read up half the internet on the topic. And I have to say she is right. I am glad I quit my job to be with Xena all the time and give her my undivided attention. It's not just good for their mental development, it is also critical for their self-esteem to have an adult who will only focus on them in their early years. Almost all of my mommy friends went back to work after their maternity leave. Some didn't want to ditch their careers. Some say they can't be a stay-at-home mom because they'd go crazy at home (it's true; I do go crazy at times), and others say they just can't afford to quit their jobs (again, understandable considering the living expenses in Singapore). Fortunately, Viv and I have relatively simple lifestyles and we are able to manage. For a start, we have slowed down our home loan payments. I don't buy as many shoes as I used to, and we take the bus everywhere. Besides, I work as a freelancer writer/editor from home and though the income (I call it 'diaper fund') is only a fraction of my fulltime job before, I have never once regretted quitting my job for Xena. Yes, it's true that I was crazy in love with my job, and at times, badly miss working in an office, but the one thing I don't feel is regret. Seeing what we have been through, it is likely she will be the only kid we will raise. If I'm going to do this only once, I want to do it myself and I want to do it right.
Blah blah blah
Because she wouldn't eat anything, her doctors were concerned that lack of chewing would cause a delay in speech as the muscles would not be exercised at all. Terrified of that possibility and determined like a tigress, I talked to her ALL THE TIME. I would describe everything around her, including the details of changing a diaper. When I took her outside, I would point at everything around and describe it in great detail, even though she seemed to show zero interest at first. But I see the effect of all the hard work now, when she speaks in full sentences and is able to process her thoughts into words very well. She has also picked up on how detailed I am with my descriptions, so when she sees a construction site, she doesn't just say "truck" or "uncle". She says "Big big truck yellow helmet and yellow shoes pehne uncle digging digging making road". When she sees a jogger with a dog during our walks, she doesn't just say "dog", she says "Big brown dog walking, aunty running running". When she sees two birds, she doesn't just say "birds", she says, "Two white birds walking". I'm also following my sister's advice (she's second only to google) in trying to make Xena bilingual at the very least. I speak to her in Hindi at home (Viv and I have different native tongues, neither of which is Hindi, but I figure Hindi will serve her well in any part of India if she were to travel there), and she's learning English and a bit of Chinese at school. Some say that learning too many languages will confuse the kid, but I have read that the challenge the brain faces in switching between languages at an early age just makes the brain more efficient. A forum on premature babies' development that I attended reinforced this view. The doctors there said that multilingual kids may not be proficient in all the languages they learn initially, but they will catch up soon, and will also have a better ability to focus and multitask in their later lives. So it's not just about how many languages they will learn, it's about sufficiently and appropriately challenging the brain at an age when their grey cells are rapidly multiplying.
No entry zones
As soon as she started crawling, she was all over the house as expected. But somehow, we managed to make her stay out of the kitchen (I do include her in the cooking process like making her peel boiled eggs, or letting her watch me chop vegetables, but she does all this while seated in her high chair) and bathrooms. If she tried to enter, I would immediately take her out and firmly tell her that she can't enter. To my total surprise, she simply stopped trying to enter these rooms. I never used a safety gate to keep her out, and even now, at two, she runs and goes everywhere, but if I'm in the kitchen or the bathroom, she waits at the door for me to come out. I'm still really surprised that this works so well. And I'm glad that she simply takes our word that limits are limits. Of course, she does get restless and then I just hold up my hand and say, "Patience, baby. Mommy is doing the dishes." Now she knows the keyword "patience". She says it herself and even holds her hand up like me when she says it. It's hilarious. This is also teaching her an important life skill - waiting. Studies show that children who are able to wait patiently for delayed gratification are able to handle stress and frustration better, now and as adults.
Bye bye
Long long before she started talking, we introduced certain important keywords to her, the most important of which has been 'bye bye'. When we wanted to take something away from her, instead of simply taking it away and making her bawl, we'd tell her that it was time for her to say 'bye bye' to the object. Whenever people left, we told her that it was time for 'bye bye'. I see the real benefits now. When I have to leave her and go somewhere, there is no crying fit. I simply say 'bye bye' and she says 'bye bye'. If she's in a shop and excitedly points to a toy, I simply acknowledge her excitement by telling her that yes, it's a nice toy and that it's time to say 'bye bye' to it. To our surprise (every time!), she says 'bye bye' to it and we leave. Lately, as much as we hate it, we have had to resort to the iPad to feed her (she's a 2-year-old who weighs as much as a 9-month-old; she's been stuck at about 8 kg for months now; she doesn't gain weight but loses weight at the snap of a finger every time she falls sick). To minimise the harms iPads cause, we avoid all flashy/loud/superinteractive apps, and she doesn't get to work the iPad, we do. And we say 'bye bye' to the iPad as soon as she finishes eating. She never protests. And because we were particular not to teach her the word "no", she also uses "bye bye" as a substitute when she wants to reject something (mostly food, of course). She actually waves to the food and says "bye bye", which I feel is more polite and less infuriating than if she were to say "NO!" The 'bye bye' approach also helps when she misbehaves. If she throws a toy, we remove it with a 'bye bye' and she knows better next time. If she misbehaves at the playground, we remove her from there with a 'bye bye'. It also makes her more receptive to taking medicines ("Medicine se cough ka bye bye ho jaayega.") It also helped her settle down in school. Right from day one, she never protested or threw a fit about school. She simply said 'bye bye' and went inside. We have been successful in conditioning the 'bye bye' approach, which simply means that people and objects come and go and we just say 'bye bye' without a fuss.
Tidy up
From the time we introduced toys, we have demonstrated to her that we need to tidy up after playing. Now she knows the rules and follows them. She says "Tablap" ("Tidy up") after she's done with one toy, such as her box of blocks or play doh, and tidies up before asking for the next one. She does seem to try and break this rule when we have visitors though, when she realises that these 'new' grown-ups will probably tidy up and she won't have to. We have to reinforce the rules then, and she's okay after that. At times when she is very reluctant to tidy up, I tell her we'll do it together. That gets her excited and she tidies up almost by herself, saying, "Together tablap!"
Roni roni
I'm not quite sure how the words "roni roni" (crying) came about. I believe I was reading a story to her about some character who was "rone lagi" and she got "roni roni" from that. But she knows what it means. Roni roni means someone is sad or hurt and that is not good. Now that she's at the age when she's trying to assert her independence, I use the term to tell her what she can and cannot do. For example, she can't throw a ball at her friend's face because "it will hurt him and he will be roni roni", and she stops, knowing that roni roni is not a good thing. I also use it to tell her why she can't stand on the seat when she's in the bus because "when driver uncle brakes, she might fall down, hurt herself and roni roni" and most of the time she listens and sits down. I have realised that she reacts better when I get down to her level, explain the consequences of her actions, no matter how complicated they are, and whether she fully understands them or not. It's perfectly logical, isn't it? From their perspective, "Why is mommy snatching away the long pointy stick I found near the playground? It's so fun to swish it around!" It is much better to explain to them that they can hurt their friends with it and it is not nice if their friends get hurt and roni roni.
Apne aap
Just like roni roni, another pair of words that has worked wonders is "apne aap" (by myself). Whenever she attempts to do something herself, we always tell her how proud we are that she did/tried it "apne aap". Now she takes pride in it. After putting the blocks back in the box, she carries the box and puts it back in her toy corner and then tells me, beaming, "Strong baby! Heavy box! Apne aap!" This is also how we got her started on enjoying brushing time. It used to be a total war zone, with me pinning her down and Viv trying to clean her teeth because she would simply refuse and flee the scene. Now we give her the toothbrush and tell each other "Look, Xena's going to brush apne aap!" And she does. She brushes even the insides and her tongue. And then she gives us a dazzling smile and says, "Xena brush apne aap. Shiny shiny white white teeth!" Sometimes she also says hilarious things like "Uncle helmet pehne motorbike chalaya apne aap!!" ("Uncle is wearing a helmet and riding a motorbike.. by himself!!")
Almost there
Another key word I taught her is "almost". I have seen kids throw a complete hissy fit because a feather touched their hand or something. The thing is - the deal is only as big as you make it. Kids will fall, they will hurt themselves. It is a part of growing up and finding out about their surroundings. If we run to them every time they stumble, they will never learn and they will make a bigger deal of things than they actually are. Every time Xena would stumble or trip, she'd look at me for my reaction. I would stay calm or totally ignore it. Pushing her luck, she'd say, "Baby fell down..." with semi-tears in her eyes. I'd say, "No, baby almost fell down." She picked up from there and now even when she falls hard, there's hardly any howling. She just comes and shows me if she has any bruises and we fix it. We also show her Viv's cricket bruises (some of which are quite nasty because my wicket-keeper likes to dive a lot) and tell her very casually how they happened. She's now cool about them, she simply says, "Poppy playing cricket... fell down... bruises".
No TV
A friend of mine asked me how on earth I entertain Xena all day if I don't use the TV at all. She said she leaves the TV on all the time, even when her kid is not actively watching. Another friend told me that TV is very good for babies because they learn a lot of things from it. Yet another has bought a whole box of DVDs to make her kid as brainy as Einstein. The bottomline is: TV is NOT GOOD. Not even baby TV and baby DVDs. The AAP recommends no TV till the age of three. Read this article about how TV actually makes kids less intelligent than they can be. It may be very tempting to use the TV as a baby-sitter just to get a breather, but at what cost? It's hard, but not impossible to find better activities to keep the little ones busy. We have never ever shown Xena TV. We are sticking to no TV till three, and perhaps even after that. Even though we know that research findings may change from time to time, the point is -- what is the real need for her to watch TV? We have taught her the alphabet using flash cards, colours using play doh, numbers using foam stickers in the bathtub. We read books and go out to the play ground or beach every day and learn a host of new things. We have fun. This is the time for her to be out and about. She has her whole adult life to stay glued to a screen (though I hope not).
School
I was not a fan of putting kids in school too early. But her doctor and dietitian thunked their heads on the hospital pillars and told me that they are out of ideas on how to get some food inside her, and they can only advise us to put her in school to see if peer pressure will help her eat. So we did. We found a nice school and put her in on a half-day (morning) basis. On the third day of orientation, she was in the hospital with a stomach bug. The doctors said that she's too weak to be in school and we should reconsider. We had a long discussion and we decided to pull her out, give her a few weeks' break and put her in another school, one that was open-air with a lot of outdoor activities. Luckily, we found the perfect one. Though it's far away from our house and crazy expensive, it really is perfect, touchwood. The teachers genuinely care about fixing her feeding, there is a lot of outdoor play, they have water play every Wednesday and a sports instructor comes every Thursday to teach them new sports (yep, Xena plays rugby!). Yes, she has fallen sick in this new school too and has been in and out of hospital twice in the last two months, but we look at it this way -- kids will fall sick when they come in contact with other kids. It's inevitable. Even perfectly healthy, full-term kids with extra-strong lungs fall sick when they first go to childcare or school. We'd rather she fall sick now and build her immunity in the process than fall sick in later years when she can't afford to miss school. School does seem to help with her eating, and she's also become much more social than she already was. She readily shares her toys with her friends, and knows all their names, and comes back and reports everything to me. And by everything, I mean everything. I get a report on who pooped, who wore what, whose mummy came on a bicycle, whose poppy came in a car, whose aunty (helper/maid) came with a stroller, who fell down, who cried, who ate what, everything.
Routine
In the beginning, I was of the view that one should let the kid be free in what he/she wants to do. I would put her to nap whenever she looked sleepy, but I soon found out it was hard to work around such a random routine. Luckily, someone in my support group advised me very early that it's us who need to set their routines, and not the other way round. It's true. From the babies' perspective, everything is new. All it takes is one distraction for them to skip a nap and then become super cranky because they don't know what is happening and then drive you completely nuts. From the time I started to follow a set routine, it became a breeze. Brushing, bathing, milk, naps, play time, night sleep, everything was suddenly falling into place. Now she knows the routine. She naps at a fixed time in the afternoon and is off to bed by 8 pm. Yes, going to restaurants for late dinners is still a challenge (especially because she doesn't eat anything, she gets really restless in the high chair. We take turns to walk outside with her, while the other eats). However, we are able to host friends at home almost every weekend and we truly have a stress-free good time because she's inside, sleeping soundly.
Manners
It is never too early to teach them manners. She started saying "Please" very early because I would simply ignore her if she said something like "Mama, open!" when she wanted to open a play doh container. Then I would say, "Please?" and she would immediately say, "Mama, please open." and I would help at once. Now she says "please" on her own. She also says "hello", "bye bye" and hugs even our friends before they leave. We are working on "Thank you" now. Though it doesn't come naturally to her yet, she does surprise us sometimes by saying a big "Thank you, uncle!" to the cabbie before we alight. Just this morning, she said "Thank you!" to the bus driver who gave her a toffee. I suppose they learn what they see. Viv and I are now more careful about saying "Please" and "Thank you" even to each other. Because Xena is watching and learning. All the time.
No special concessions
Given what we went through, the fact that she is with us today is a miracle. Sometimes I look at her and find it hard to believe that she is right there, with me. I want to kiss her and hug her and protect her from anything that can hurt her. When something like this happens, it might be tempting to raise her into a little princess-child who gets everything she wants and never gets reprimanded, just to make up for all the rough times she went through that no baby should go through. But the whole point of trying to make her "catch up with her peers" is not just about size and growth and weight. Yes, the start was not a normal one, but we are trying to make her into a normal little kid eventually. Sure, she has been through very rough times and she was incredibly brave and strong, and some day we will tell her all about it. But there is so much more to life than merely looking at past struggles and glories with pride. If she wants to do truly extraordinary things in life, she needs to learn to be ordinary first.
Viv has been asking me to document all the 'right' things we have done so far in raising her, and now is a good time. We are at the two-year threshold, a good time to look back, and prepare for the storm (if there is one) ahead. Of course, there are lots of things which have been less than ideal. Ideally, I would have delivered at full term, Xena wouldn't be in the ICU for two months, she wouldn't have had surgery at the young age of six days, she wouldn't have had a host of other health problems, such as bleeding in the brain, holes in her heart, and weak lungs. Ideally, she would be wolfing down her food, instead of being solely on milk for 15 months, before starting on puree very reluctantly. Ideally, she wouldn't be stuck in the 3rd percentile for growth, while her peers grew in all directions. But this post is not about all the things that went wrong, it's about all the things that went right. I won't go into the obvious ones like the importance of breast milk, and reading to/with your child etc. etc. I will just jot down some specific things we have done which have made managing Xena a relatively easier task. (Of course, if the terrible twos are as terrible as I have heard and read they are, I will need a whole new set of strategies to deal with it. Any tips from experienced parents?)
So here's my list of 'How we stayed sane for the first two years':
Read read read
And I'm not even talking about Xena's reading yet. I'm talking about my own reading. All first-time pregnant women read. A lot. And then as the kid grows, the reading goes down. I have seen it with myself too. But I still try to read about new research findings, new parenting approaches, etc. Some may argue that there is no point reading all that and it's just information overload and one should just follow one's instinct, and maybe the advice of the elders. I don't quite agree. Well, for one, we live in a different world now, we have access to many technologies, good and bad. There are new gadgets which can make our lives easier, but come at a cost. Our kids are exposed to new and different things, whether we approve or not. Our parenting instinct is simply not equipped to parent amidst all of these distractions. Researchers now know that TV is bad for kids, but the long-term effects of the iPhone and iPad on this generation of kids now will only be seen much much later when they're all grown-up (and hopefully not screwed-up). So I read a lot and I talk to everyone in my support groups and I gather all the information first. And then I let my instinct take over and pick what seems most scientific/reasonable/practical.
Support groups
I was never a big fan of support groups before I got pregnant. But now I am. They are not just an incredible source of support, they provide a wealth of knowledge and experience. Parenting is really really hard (I sense parents nodding and non-parents skipping this post) and sometimes you need more than just your primary support system. As a first-time mom, I had a thousand questions and not everything was on google. At the moment I am in three different support groups - the premature babies support group, a group of local mommies with the same edd (yes, there are 92 of us with kids the same age!) and another, comprising mainly expats, based in the east of Singapore where I live. So I get a great mix of eastern and western views and I can pick and choose the advice I want. I am still moderately active in the premature babies support group but more as a 'senior' now. From asking questions, I have graduated to answering questions of the 'freshies' whose babies are in the ICU. Most of the time, we 'seniors' just show them the before (when they were in the ICU, with all the tubes) and after pictures of our warriors, and that itself gives them a lot of courage. Pictures do speak a thousand words.
One-on-one time
My sister is a big advocate of one-on-one time with babies, and because of her insistence I went and read up half the internet on the topic. And I have to say she is right. I am glad I quit my job to be with Xena all the time and give her my undivided attention. It's not just good for their mental development, it is also critical for their self-esteem to have an adult who will only focus on them in their early years. Almost all of my mommy friends went back to work after their maternity leave. Some didn't want to ditch their careers. Some say they can't be a stay-at-home mom because they'd go crazy at home (it's true; I do go crazy at times), and others say they just can't afford to quit their jobs (again, understandable considering the living expenses in Singapore). Fortunately, Viv and I have relatively simple lifestyles and we are able to manage. For a start, we have slowed down our home loan payments. I don't buy as many shoes as I used to, and we take the bus everywhere. Besides, I work as a freelancer writer/editor from home and though the income (I call it 'diaper fund') is only a fraction of my fulltime job before, I have never once regretted quitting my job for Xena. Yes, it's true that I was crazy in love with my job, and at times, badly miss working in an office, but the one thing I don't feel is regret. Seeing what we have been through, it is likely she will be the only kid we will raise. If I'm going to do this only once, I want to do it myself and I want to do it right.
Blah blah blah
Because she wouldn't eat anything, her doctors were concerned that lack of chewing would cause a delay in speech as the muscles would not be exercised at all. Terrified of that possibility and determined like a tigress, I talked to her ALL THE TIME. I would describe everything around her, including the details of changing a diaper. When I took her outside, I would point at everything around and describe it in great detail, even though she seemed to show zero interest at first. But I see the effect of all the hard work now, when she speaks in full sentences and is able to process her thoughts into words very well. She has also picked up on how detailed I am with my descriptions, so when she sees a construction site, she doesn't just say "truck" or "uncle". She says "Big big truck yellow helmet and yellow shoes pehne uncle digging digging making road". When she sees a jogger with a dog during our walks, she doesn't just say "dog", she says "Big brown dog walking, aunty running running". When she sees two birds, she doesn't just say "birds", she says, "Two white birds walking". I'm also following my sister's advice (she's second only to google) in trying to make Xena bilingual at the very least. I speak to her in Hindi at home (Viv and I have different native tongues, neither of which is Hindi, but I figure Hindi will serve her well in any part of India if she were to travel there), and she's learning English and a bit of Chinese at school. Some say that learning too many languages will confuse the kid, but I have read that the challenge the brain faces in switching between languages at an early age just makes the brain more efficient. A forum on premature babies' development that I attended reinforced this view. The doctors there said that multilingual kids may not be proficient in all the languages they learn initially, but they will catch up soon, and will also have a better ability to focus and multitask in their later lives. So it's not just about how many languages they will learn, it's about sufficiently and appropriately challenging the brain at an age when their grey cells are rapidly multiplying.
No entry zones
As soon as she started crawling, she was all over the house as expected. But somehow, we managed to make her stay out of the kitchen (I do include her in the cooking process like making her peel boiled eggs, or letting her watch me chop vegetables, but she does all this while seated in her high chair) and bathrooms. If she tried to enter, I would immediately take her out and firmly tell her that she can't enter. To my total surprise, she simply stopped trying to enter these rooms. I never used a safety gate to keep her out, and even now, at two, she runs and goes everywhere, but if I'm in the kitchen or the bathroom, she waits at the door for me to come out. I'm still really surprised that this works so well. And I'm glad that she simply takes our word that limits are limits. Of course, she does get restless and then I just hold up my hand and say, "Patience, baby. Mommy is doing the dishes." Now she knows the keyword "patience". She says it herself and even holds her hand up like me when she says it. It's hilarious. This is also teaching her an important life skill - waiting. Studies show that children who are able to wait patiently for delayed gratification are able to handle stress and frustration better, now and as adults.
Bye bye
Long long before she started talking, we introduced certain important keywords to her, the most important of which has been 'bye bye'. When we wanted to take something away from her, instead of simply taking it away and making her bawl, we'd tell her that it was time for her to say 'bye bye' to the object. Whenever people left, we told her that it was time for 'bye bye'. I see the real benefits now. When I have to leave her and go somewhere, there is no crying fit. I simply say 'bye bye' and she says 'bye bye'. If she's in a shop and excitedly points to a toy, I simply acknowledge her excitement by telling her that yes, it's a nice toy and that it's time to say 'bye bye' to it. To our surprise (every time!), she says 'bye bye' to it and we leave. Lately, as much as we hate it, we have had to resort to the iPad to feed her (she's a 2-year-old who weighs as much as a 9-month-old; she's been stuck at about 8 kg for months now; she doesn't gain weight but loses weight at the snap of a finger every time she falls sick). To minimise the harms iPads cause, we avoid all flashy/loud/superinteractive apps, and she doesn't get to work the iPad, we do. And we say 'bye bye' to the iPad as soon as she finishes eating. She never protests. And because we were particular not to teach her the word "no", she also uses "bye bye" as a substitute when she wants to reject something (mostly food, of course). She actually waves to the food and says "bye bye", which I feel is more polite and less infuriating than if she were to say "NO!" The 'bye bye' approach also helps when she misbehaves. If she throws a toy, we remove it with a 'bye bye' and she knows better next time. If she misbehaves at the playground, we remove her from there with a 'bye bye'. It also makes her more receptive to taking medicines ("Medicine se cough ka bye bye ho jaayega.") It also helped her settle down in school. Right from day one, she never protested or threw a fit about school. She simply said 'bye bye' and went inside. We have been successful in conditioning the 'bye bye' approach, which simply means that people and objects come and go and we just say 'bye bye' without a fuss.
Tidy up
From the time we introduced toys, we have demonstrated to her that we need to tidy up after playing. Now she knows the rules and follows them. She says "Tablap" ("Tidy up") after she's done with one toy, such as her box of blocks or play doh, and tidies up before asking for the next one. She does seem to try and break this rule when we have visitors though, when she realises that these 'new' grown-ups will probably tidy up and she won't have to. We have to reinforce the rules then, and she's okay after that. At times when she is very reluctant to tidy up, I tell her we'll do it together. That gets her excited and she tidies up almost by herself, saying, "Together tablap!"
Roni roni
I'm not quite sure how the words "roni roni" (crying) came about. I believe I was reading a story to her about some character who was "rone lagi" and she got "roni roni" from that. But she knows what it means. Roni roni means someone is sad or hurt and that is not good. Now that she's at the age when she's trying to assert her independence, I use the term to tell her what she can and cannot do. For example, she can't throw a ball at her friend's face because "it will hurt him and he will be roni roni", and she stops, knowing that roni roni is not a good thing. I also use it to tell her why she can't stand on the seat when she's in the bus because "when driver uncle brakes, she might fall down, hurt herself and roni roni" and most of the time she listens and sits down. I have realised that she reacts better when I get down to her level, explain the consequences of her actions, no matter how complicated they are, and whether she fully understands them or not. It's perfectly logical, isn't it? From their perspective, "Why is mommy snatching away the long pointy stick I found near the playground? It's so fun to swish it around!" It is much better to explain to them that they can hurt their friends with it and it is not nice if their friends get hurt and roni roni.
Apne aap
Just like roni roni, another pair of words that has worked wonders is "apne aap" (by myself). Whenever she attempts to do something herself, we always tell her how proud we are that she did/tried it "apne aap". Now she takes pride in it. After putting the blocks back in the box, she carries the box and puts it back in her toy corner and then tells me, beaming, "Strong baby! Heavy box! Apne aap!" This is also how we got her started on enjoying brushing time. It used to be a total war zone, with me pinning her down and Viv trying to clean her teeth because she would simply refuse and flee the scene. Now we give her the toothbrush and tell each other "Look, Xena's going to brush apne aap!" And she does. She brushes even the insides and her tongue. And then she gives us a dazzling smile and says, "Xena brush apne aap. Shiny shiny white white teeth!" Sometimes she also says hilarious things like "Uncle helmet pehne motorbike chalaya apne aap!!" ("Uncle is wearing a helmet and riding a motorbike.. by himself!!")
Almost there
Another key word I taught her is "almost". I have seen kids throw a complete hissy fit because a feather touched their hand or something. The thing is - the deal is only as big as you make it. Kids will fall, they will hurt themselves. It is a part of growing up and finding out about their surroundings. If we run to them every time they stumble, they will never learn and they will make a bigger deal of things than they actually are. Every time Xena would stumble or trip, she'd look at me for my reaction. I would stay calm or totally ignore it. Pushing her luck, she'd say, "Baby fell down..." with semi-tears in her eyes. I'd say, "No, baby almost fell down." She picked up from there and now even when she falls hard, there's hardly any howling. She just comes and shows me if she has any bruises and we fix it. We also show her Viv's cricket bruises (some of which are quite nasty because my wicket-keeper likes to dive a lot) and tell her very casually how they happened. She's now cool about them, she simply says, "Poppy playing cricket... fell down... bruises".
No TV
A friend of mine asked me how on earth I entertain Xena all day if I don't use the TV at all. She said she leaves the TV on all the time, even when her kid is not actively watching. Another friend told me that TV is very good for babies because they learn a lot of things from it. Yet another has bought a whole box of DVDs to make her kid as brainy as Einstein. The bottomline is: TV is NOT GOOD. Not even baby TV and baby DVDs. The AAP recommends no TV till the age of three. Read this article about how TV actually makes kids less intelligent than they can be. It may be very tempting to use the TV as a baby-sitter just to get a breather, but at what cost? It's hard, but not impossible to find better activities to keep the little ones busy. We have never ever shown Xena TV. We are sticking to no TV till three, and perhaps even after that. Even though we know that research findings may change from time to time, the point is -- what is the real need for her to watch TV? We have taught her the alphabet using flash cards, colours using play doh, numbers using foam stickers in the bathtub. We read books and go out to the play ground or beach every day and learn a host of new things. We have fun. This is the time for her to be out and about. She has her whole adult life to stay glued to a screen (though I hope not).
School
I was not a fan of putting kids in school too early. But her doctor and dietitian thunked their heads on the hospital pillars and told me that they are out of ideas on how to get some food inside her, and they can only advise us to put her in school to see if peer pressure will help her eat. So we did. We found a nice school and put her in on a half-day (morning) basis. On the third day of orientation, she was in the hospital with a stomach bug. The doctors said that she's too weak to be in school and we should reconsider. We had a long discussion and we decided to pull her out, give her a few weeks' break and put her in another school, one that was open-air with a lot of outdoor activities. Luckily, we found the perfect one. Though it's far away from our house and crazy expensive, it really is perfect, touchwood. The teachers genuinely care about fixing her feeding, there is a lot of outdoor play, they have water play every Wednesday and a sports instructor comes every Thursday to teach them new sports (yep, Xena plays rugby!). Yes, she has fallen sick in this new school too and has been in and out of hospital twice in the last two months, but we look at it this way -- kids will fall sick when they come in contact with other kids. It's inevitable. Even perfectly healthy, full-term kids with extra-strong lungs fall sick when they first go to childcare or school. We'd rather she fall sick now and build her immunity in the process than fall sick in later years when she can't afford to miss school. School does seem to help with her eating, and she's also become much more social than she already was. She readily shares her toys with her friends, and knows all their names, and comes back and reports everything to me. And by everything, I mean everything. I get a report on who pooped, who wore what, whose mummy came on a bicycle, whose poppy came in a car, whose aunty (helper/maid) came with a stroller, who fell down, who cried, who ate what, everything.
Routine
In the beginning, I was of the view that one should let the kid be free in what he/she wants to do. I would put her to nap whenever she looked sleepy, but I soon found out it was hard to work around such a random routine. Luckily, someone in my support group advised me very early that it's us who need to set their routines, and not the other way round. It's true. From the babies' perspective, everything is new. All it takes is one distraction for them to skip a nap and then become super cranky because they don't know what is happening and then drive you completely nuts. From the time I started to follow a set routine, it became a breeze. Brushing, bathing, milk, naps, play time, night sleep, everything was suddenly falling into place. Now she knows the routine. She naps at a fixed time in the afternoon and is off to bed by 8 pm. Yes, going to restaurants for late dinners is still a challenge (especially because she doesn't eat anything, she gets really restless in the high chair. We take turns to walk outside with her, while the other eats). However, we are able to host friends at home almost every weekend and we truly have a stress-free good time because she's inside, sleeping soundly.
Manners
It is never too early to teach them manners. She started saying "Please" very early because I would simply ignore her if she said something like "Mama, open!" when she wanted to open a play doh container. Then I would say, "Please?" and she would immediately say, "Mama, please open." and I would help at once. Now she says "please" on her own. She also says "hello", "bye bye" and hugs even our friends before they leave. We are working on "Thank you" now. Though it doesn't come naturally to her yet, she does surprise us sometimes by saying a big "Thank you, uncle!" to the cabbie before we alight. Just this morning, she said "Thank you!" to the bus driver who gave her a toffee. I suppose they learn what they see. Viv and I are now more careful about saying "Please" and "Thank you" even to each other. Because Xena is watching and learning. All the time.
No special concessions
Given what we went through, the fact that she is with us today is a miracle. Sometimes I look at her and find it hard to believe that she is right there, with me. I want to kiss her and hug her and protect her from anything that can hurt her. When something like this happens, it might be tempting to raise her into a little princess-child who gets everything she wants and never gets reprimanded, just to make up for all the rough times she went through that no baby should go through. But the whole point of trying to make her "catch up with her peers" is not just about size and growth and weight. Yes, the start was not a normal one, but we are trying to make her into a normal little kid eventually. Sure, she has been through very rough times and she was incredibly brave and strong, and some day we will tell her all about it. But there is so much more to life than merely looking at past struggles and glories with pride. If she wants to do truly extraordinary things in life, she needs to learn to be ordinary first.
Thursday, May 02, 2013
Five little monkeys and an angry bird
Aaaand... Abhijeet is back at the bar! This bird is not just cross... it is cross-eyed as well. (Btw, I think I will actually be sad the day she stops referring to 'Angry Bird' as 'Abhijeet'.)
And here are my little monkey and I singing about five little monkeys (watch out for the part where she says "No more doctors" instead of "No more monkeys").
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Young at art
Whenever I change Xena's clothes, she has this hilarious habit of saying "Hand klangya?" ("Hand kahan gaya?", or "Where did the hand go?") before her hands emerge from the ends of her sleeves, and "Toe klangya?" before her toes emerge from the ends of her pants. I've been trying to capture it on camera for the longest time. Finally, today, during one of our fingerpainting sessions, she said it when I put on her painting bib, and I got it on camera! Yooohooo!
Okay, the second video is just us talking about random stuff as she paints so bewdas might find it boring. The mother in me of course doesn't. If you manage to watch it though, you'll see how she still refers to 'Angry Bird' as 'Abhijeet' (or something like that). I still don't know why!
Okay, the second video is just us talking about random stuff as she paints so bewdas might find it boring. The mother in me of course doesn't. If you manage to watch it though, you'll see how she still refers to 'Angry Bird' as 'Abhijeet' (or something like that). I still don't know why!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
Cast in the same mould
Sayesha Smitten Showbiz Kitten has landed yet another internship, this time with the Bhatts. One might wonder why someone who is the ahem, star reporter of the Akh-bar needs to do internships. Let's just say that the Akh-bar, just like the drinks at the bar where it is distributed, is on the house and SSSK has bills to pay. So she makes her way to her first day of work. It's the banquet hall of a fancy hotel. There is a sign outside that says 'Aashiqui 2 casting'. She is excited at the prospect. Not that she was a fan of Aashiqui the original, but going by her previous experience, casting is always fun.
There is a bouncer at the door. Why, she doesn't know, but he eyes her with suspicion. He is large of frame and SSSK is chicken of heart.
"Yes?" He says.
"Err.. I'm a reporter."
He puts a large hand in front of her.
"No media allowed."
SSSK is at first flattered that someone actually referred to her as media, but she quickly recovers. "No, I mean, I am not a reporter today. I'm here... on an assignment..."
"You're not a reporter but you're here on an assignment?"
"I mean... errr, I am not here in the capacity of a reporter. I'm here to moonwalk for Bhatt Sir."
"Moonwalk? Moonwalk for Bhatt sir?" He glares coldly.
"Yes."
"Do you mean moonlight?"
"Oh! Right! Moonlight. Not moonwalk. Definitely not moonwalk. No moonwalking for Mahesh Bhatt." SSSK is red in the face.
He checks her pass and lets her in. She breathes in relief and looks around. The hall has been neatly partitioned and labelled. The casting team is near the big stage. At the two far corners of the hall are two sections -- one to cast the male lead and the other for the female lead. SSSK proceeds to find Mahesh Bhatt and pass on her salutations. He couldn't bother less. In fact, he does not remember who she is. He asks her to sit down and take notes. She beams. She loves taking notes. Especially when perched on trees, but no tree is to be seen in the vicinity. She perches on its closest relative, a wooden chair.
Suddenly there is a commotion at the entrance. A rather nasal shout is heard. Everyone looks up. It is Kumar Sanu! What is he doing here?
"Where is Mahesh Bhatt??" He pushes his way in. The bouncer has been rendered helpless by the high frequency of the voice. He staggers back. Kumar Sanu walks in.
Mahesh Bhatt looks up. "Yes, who are you?"
"Who am I?? I am Kumar Sanu. I am the one who made your first Aashiqui what it was. And now I hear you're getting some unheard-of singers for the sequel??"
Mahesh Bhatt buries his head in his hands. "How many times do I have to tell people??? THIS IS NOT A SEQUEL!"
"Whatever. I demand to be the lead singer. How can there be an Aashiqui without Kumar Sanu??"
Suddenly there is another commotion at the entrance. A more nasal shout is heard. It is none other than Himesh Reshammiya! The bouncer is now on the floor, cupping his ears and writhing in pain. Himesh walks in.
"Mahesh Bhai! Kya Mahesh Bhai! Main auto mein Kumar Sanu ka peechha karte karte yahan aaya aur pata chala ki Aashiqui 2 ban rahi hai?"
"Ban rahi hai but I'll be singing the songs, okay?" Kumar Sanu says.
"Kya Mahesh Bhai! Aap isko le rahe ho?? Contemporary movie hai, contemporary voice chahiye. But still keeping the nasal touch, hai na?" Himesh grins proudly.
"Himeshbhai, please. Koi aur director nahin mila?? Mere hi peechhe kyun padey ho yaar???" Mahesh Bhatt asks.
"Because", Himesh starts singing loudly, "Aashiqui banayaaaa, Aashiqui banayaaaa, Aashiqui banayaaaa aapne!" He concludes his "song", looking very pleased with himself. Mahesh Bhatt is not amused.
"Hello! Listen, the movie's album is done. I know you're probably deaf from rehearsing that... that thing that you just sang, but if you try hard, you can already hear the soundtrack of Aashiqui 2 in the background. And it is perfect. You heard that? PERFECT. I am not changing anything about the album."
Himesh is crestfallen. He sinks into a chair next to SSSK and keenly listens to the songs.
"Solid album hai sala. Sahi bola, perfect. Koi flaw, koi weakness hai is album mein? Main kis muh se bolun ki mujhse gawao?"
"Muh se??? You mean naak se?" SSSK asks cheekily.
Himesh glares.
"Sorry sorry. You were asking about flaws in the songs. Hai na flaws, Himeshbhai. Ek bataaun?" SSSK quips.
"What?? Tell me!"
"Inconsistency hai. Banda pehle gata hai 'Hum tere bin ab reh nahin sakte', phir kehta hai 'tere bina kya wajood mera'?? Go ahead, point it out to Mahesh Bhatt. Maybe he will redo the song with you?"
"Oh wow. I will. At once. But... why are you helping me? Aren't you Mahesh Bhatt's assistant?"
"I am," says SSSK with a wink, "but I'm also Narad muni's assistant on the side. Heh heh!"
Himesh confronts Mahesh with the aforementioned information. Mahesh Bhatt looks around helplessly.
SSSK springs into action. And dialogue. "But Himeshbhai... your most famous song 'Aashiq banaya aapne' also had 'Tere bin raat katti nahin hai'!"
Mahesh Bhatt looks at her approvingly.
Himesh glares at SSSK.
"Told you I'm Narad Muni's assistant too." SSSK leans over and whispers with a shrug.
"Mahesh bhai, please. You know that song 'Sun raha hai na tu, ro raha hoon main'? It sounds so like me. Please let me sing it? I promise my rendition of 'ro raha hoon main' audience ko bhi rula degi." Himesh is not giving up.
"I am sure. I am sure. Mujhe toh abhi se rona aa raha hai yeh baat sunkar." Mahesh sighs.
"Please please Mahesh bhai, let me do an unplugged version of the song?"
"Unplugged? Ha! The only thing I want unplugged right now is YOU. Unplug yourself off my couch with immediate effect!"
Meanwhile, Kumar Sanu is getting irritated at all this undue attention towards Himesh.
"Suna nahin Mahesh Bhai ne kya bola? Get out of here, you nosey-parker!" He says.
"Look who's talking!" laughs Himesh.
"Both of you get out of here, I don't want any nasal voices going ooooon-aaaannnn in my Aashiqui 2!" Mahesh Bhatt is losing it now.
Hearing that, suddenly Kumar Sanu and Himesh are united like long-lost brothers.
"Nasal kisko bola re? Ooooon-aaaannnn kisko bola re?" Himesh says.
"That's right! Don't naak it till you have tried it!" says Kumar Sanu. The khatar-naak duo high-five each other and guffaw helplessly.
Mahesh Bhatt looks at SSSK helplessly. "Get these two jokers out. I can't stand their naak-naak jokes anymore."
SSSK turns to both and says, "Hey! You two, naak it off." She bursts into peals of laughter.
Mahesh Bhatt glares at SSSK.
"Sorry sir, but ek last wala toh banta tha na?" SSSK says, turning red.
The bouncer is finally up and about. He has borrowed ear defenders from the construction workers outside. He drags Kumar Sanu and Himesh away.
"Finally we can get to work." Says Mahesh Bhatt. "You, intern, go walk around and see what kind of actors are here for the audition."
SSSK hops down from her chair and walks around with her notebook and pencil.
The section for the girls is teeming with actress-wannabes. As SSSK starts counting them, she spots Shakti Kapoor walk in with his daughter Shraddha. Shraddha looks at the sea of faces, many of them prettier than hers, and has a panic attack.
"Papa, let's go back. I can't do this."
"Relax, beta. You will do fine. Mogambo ki grand-niece hai, role toh lekar jaayegi. Now go and fix your hair and make-up. I'll wait here."
Shraddha is off to powder her nose.
Shakti Kapoor advances towards the group of waiting girls.
"Auuuuu!!! So many of you... Audition mein maza aane wala hai..." He bellows loudly. A few of them look up and gasp in horror at the thought of being auditioned by him.
Shakti Kapoor claps his hands and says, "Okay girls, let's get started. I'm going to be sitting on this chair here. All of you queue up and say to me one by one, 'Ballll-mah!' With feeling, okay?"
Shrill shrieks invade the room as all the girls run helter skelter. SSSK also runs back towards the stage. Mahesh Bhatt looks up. He is surprised to see that not a single girl is present for the audition. Then the restroom door opens and Shraddha Kapoor walks in, looking confused.
"Ek hi hai, sir." SSSK says, panting.
Mahesh Bhatt shakes his head.
"Tsk tsk! I knew this could happen. After watching Sunny Leone in Jism, no one wants to do a debut with us anymore. Sigh. Theek hai, yeh jo bhi hai, isko sign kar lo."
"Okay, sir."
"Ladkon ka kya haal hai? Any good ones?"
Sayesha looks at the sea of boys and starts counting.
"Sir, there are 187 boys here today. 186 of them have long rebonded hair, with a very silky lock falling over one eye."
Mahesh Bhatt does a facepalm. "Sheesh. Why do they think we will cast a Rahul Roy look-alike??"
"Sir, this is Aashiqui 2. Obviously, it is expected to follow up on the original, isn't it? Leap and all that. Hai na?"
"Leap??? LEAP?? Mujhe Ekta Kapoor samjha hai??"
"Oh, sorry. Is it a remake then??"
"Remake?? Mujhe Sajid Khan samjha hai??"
"Sir, why is it called Aashiqui 2, sir? Sequel hai na?"
"SIGH. Was Jism 2 the sequel of Jism 1? Was Murder 2 the sequel of Murder 1???"
"Hmmm... point taken. But sir, what is with these numbers? Why Jism 1/2, Murder 1/2/3, Zeher 1/2...? Why not totally fresh titles??"
"Tum nahin samjhogi. All this is just in the interim. I am about to start on my masterpiece soon. It will not have any 1, 2, 3. It will be the grandest project of my life, with the biggest superstar and the freshest title, my biggest blockbuster, the ultimate Bhatt Productions' movie..."
Mahesh Bhatt zones out, staring blankly into space.
"Sir? Sir!"
"Huh? Haan haan... I'm here. Achha this 187th chap, what's he like? I mean what's his hair like?"
"Afro hai, sir."
"Afro hai???"
"Yes, sir."
"Very good! As different from straight silky hair as... err... an Afro. Any other details about him?"
"Sir, main abhi baat karke aaya hoon. SRK ka bhai hai, sir." One of the other assistants says.
"WHAT?!!" Mahesh Bhatt is stunned.
"Sir, I think he's lying. SRK does not have a brother." SSSK says, outraged.
"Arre you don't know, all these Khans have brothers. Aamir ka bhi hai aur Salman ka bhi. SRK must also have one then." says the assistant.
"Naam kya hai is ladke ka?" Mahesh Bhatt asks.
"Koi Kapoor hai, sir." The assistant says.
"Kapoor??! Ha! I knew it. How can SRK's brother be a Kapoor???" SSSK says indignantly.
"Arre, actors change names all the time. Akshay Kumar is actually Rajeev Bhatia. Mallika Sherawat is Reema Lamba. Kapoor is trending right now, isne bhi naam change kar liya hoga. Ya ho sakta hai koi cousin hoga SRK ka?"
"Sir, don't be hasty. Let me find out more..." SSSK says.
"Nothing doing. He does not have Rahul Roy type of hair, and he's related to SRK. Aur kya chahiye? Finally my dream project will be launched. With SRK on board." Mahesh Bhatt starts zoning again.
"You want to do a film with SRK?" SSSK asks.
"Since forever! But he has no time for me. Well, now he will. Because I will make a star out of his kid brother. He will have to repay me by playing the lead in my mega venture."
"The mega venture you mentioned earlier?" SSSK asks.
"Yes. This movie will be an amalgamation of everything Bhatt Productions stands for."
"Sir, title kya hai? You said it will not have any numbers and will be the freshest title ever."
"Correct. The title is 'Paapi Jism ke Zeher se Murder ke Woh Lamhe'.
SSSK's jaw drops. She shakes her head in disbelief.
"Quick. Go, sign him." says Mahesh Bhatt.
SSSK walks over to the boy with the Afro. He looks strangely familiar.
As he signs the contract and hands it over to her, she says, "Errr... I need to check on a few things in your portfolio."
"Yes?"
"You are SRK's brother? Like, really?"
"That's right. I am not only SRK's brother, I'm also a brother to KRK."
"KRK? That loony bin KRK??"
"Oh no, not that. I meant Kunaal Roy Kapoor. Woh Delhi Belly wala?"
"WAIT A MINUTE! So by SRK, you mean..."
"Sidharth Roy Kapoor, CEO, UTV. Mr. Vidya Balan. Why, what did you think?"
There is a bouncer at the door. Why, she doesn't know, but he eyes her with suspicion. He is large of frame and SSSK is chicken of heart.
"Yes?" He says.
"Err.. I'm a reporter."
He puts a large hand in front of her.
"No media allowed."
SSSK is at first flattered that someone actually referred to her as media, but she quickly recovers. "No, I mean, I am not a reporter today. I'm here... on an assignment..."
"You're not a reporter but you're here on an assignment?"
"I mean... errr, I am not here in the capacity of a reporter. I'm here to moonwalk for Bhatt Sir."
"Moonwalk? Moonwalk for Bhatt sir?" He glares coldly.
"Yes."
"Do you mean moonlight?"
"Oh! Right! Moonlight. Not moonwalk. Definitely not moonwalk. No moonwalking for Mahesh Bhatt." SSSK is red in the face.
He checks her pass and lets her in. She breathes in relief and looks around. The hall has been neatly partitioned and labelled. The casting team is near the big stage. At the two far corners of the hall are two sections -- one to cast the male lead and the other for the female lead. SSSK proceeds to find Mahesh Bhatt and pass on her salutations. He couldn't bother less. In fact, he does not remember who she is. He asks her to sit down and take notes. She beams. She loves taking notes. Especially when perched on trees, but no tree is to be seen in the vicinity. She perches on its closest relative, a wooden chair.
Suddenly there is a commotion at the entrance. A rather nasal shout is heard. Everyone looks up. It is Kumar Sanu! What is he doing here?
"Where is Mahesh Bhatt??" He pushes his way in. The bouncer has been rendered helpless by the high frequency of the voice. He staggers back. Kumar Sanu walks in.
Mahesh Bhatt looks up. "Yes, who are you?"
"Who am I?? I am Kumar Sanu. I am the one who made your first Aashiqui what it was. And now I hear you're getting some unheard-of singers for the sequel??"
Mahesh Bhatt buries his head in his hands. "How many times do I have to tell people??? THIS IS NOT A SEQUEL!"
"Whatever. I demand to be the lead singer. How can there be an Aashiqui without Kumar Sanu??"
Suddenly there is another commotion at the entrance. A more nasal shout is heard. It is none other than Himesh Reshammiya! The bouncer is now on the floor, cupping his ears and writhing in pain. Himesh walks in.
"Mahesh Bhai! Kya Mahesh Bhai! Main auto mein Kumar Sanu ka peechha karte karte yahan aaya aur pata chala ki Aashiqui 2 ban rahi hai?"
"Ban rahi hai but I'll be singing the songs, okay?" Kumar Sanu says.
"Kya Mahesh Bhai! Aap isko le rahe ho?? Contemporary movie hai, contemporary voice chahiye. But still keeping the nasal touch, hai na?" Himesh grins proudly.
"Himeshbhai, please. Koi aur director nahin mila?? Mere hi peechhe kyun padey ho yaar???" Mahesh Bhatt asks.
"Because", Himesh starts singing loudly, "Aashiqui banayaaaa, Aashiqui banayaaaa, Aashiqui banayaaaa aapne!" He concludes his "song", looking very pleased with himself. Mahesh Bhatt is not amused.
"Hello! Listen, the movie's album is done. I know you're probably deaf from rehearsing that... that thing that you just sang, but if you try hard, you can already hear the soundtrack of Aashiqui 2 in the background. And it is perfect. You heard that? PERFECT. I am not changing anything about the album."
Himesh is crestfallen. He sinks into a chair next to SSSK and keenly listens to the songs.
"Solid album hai sala. Sahi bola, perfect. Koi flaw, koi weakness hai is album mein? Main kis muh se bolun ki mujhse gawao?"
"Muh se??? You mean naak se?" SSSK asks cheekily.
Himesh glares.
"Sorry sorry. You were asking about flaws in the songs. Hai na flaws, Himeshbhai. Ek bataaun?" SSSK quips.
"What?? Tell me!"
"Inconsistency hai. Banda pehle gata hai 'Hum tere bin ab reh nahin sakte', phir kehta hai 'tere bina kya wajood mera'?? Go ahead, point it out to Mahesh Bhatt. Maybe he will redo the song with you?"
"Oh wow. I will. At once. But... why are you helping me? Aren't you Mahesh Bhatt's assistant?"
"I am," says SSSK with a wink, "but I'm also Narad muni's assistant on the side. Heh heh!"
Himesh confronts Mahesh with the aforementioned information. Mahesh Bhatt looks around helplessly.
SSSK springs into action. And dialogue. "But Himeshbhai... your most famous song 'Aashiq banaya aapne' also had 'Tere bin raat katti nahin hai'!"
Mahesh Bhatt looks at her approvingly.
Himesh glares at SSSK.
"Told you I'm Narad Muni's assistant too." SSSK leans over and whispers with a shrug.
"Mahesh bhai, please. You know that song 'Sun raha hai na tu, ro raha hoon main'? It sounds so like me. Please let me sing it? I promise my rendition of 'ro raha hoon main' audience ko bhi rula degi." Himesh is not giving up.
"I am sure. I am sure. Mujhe toh abhi se rona aa raha hai yeh baat sunkar." Mahesh sighs.
"Please please Mahesh bhai, let me do an unplugged version of the song?"
"Unplugged? Ha! The only thing I want unplugged right now is YOU. Unplug yourself off my couch with immediate effect!"
Meanwhile, Kumar Sanu is getting irritated at all this undue attention towards Himesh.
"Suna nahin Mahesh Bhai ne kya bola? Get out of here, you nosey-parker!" He says.
"Look who's talking!" laughs Himesh.
"Both of you get out of here, I don't want any nasal voices going ooooon-aaaannnn in my Aashiqui 2!" Mahesh Bhatt is losing it now.
Hearing that, suddenly Kumar Sanu and Himesh are united like long-lost brothers.
"Nasal kisko bola re? Ooooon-aaaannnn kisko bola re?" Himesh says.
"That's right! Don't naak it till you have tried it!" says Kumar Sanu. The khatar-naak duo high-five each other and guffaw helplessly.
Mahesh Bhatt looks at SSSK helplessly. "Get these two jokers out. I can't stand their naak-naak jokes anymore."
SSSK turns to both and says, "Hey! You two, naak it off." She bursts into peals of laughter.
Mahesh Bhatt glares at SSSK.
"Sorry sir, but ek last wala toh banta tha na?" SSSK says, turning red.
The bouncer is finally up and about. He has borrowed ear defenders from the construction workers outside. He drags Kumar Sanu and Himesh away.
"Finally we can get to work." Says Mahesh Bhatt. "You, intern, go walk around and see what kind of actors are here for the audition."
SSSK hops down from her chair and walks around with her notebook and pencil.
The section for the girls is teeming with actress-wannabes. As SSSK starts counting them, she spots Shakti Kapoor walk in with his daughter Shraddha. Shraddha looks at the sea of faces, many of them prettier than hers, and has a panic attack.
"Papa, let's go back. I can't do this."
"Relax, beta. You will do fine. Mogambo ki grand-niece hai, role toh lekar jaayegi. Now go and fix your hair and make-up. I'll wait here."
Shraddha is off to powder her nose.
Shakti Kapoor advances towards the group of waiting girls.
"Auuuuu!!! So many of you... Audition mein maza aane wala hai..." He bellows loudly. A few of them look up and gasp in horror at the thought of being auditioned by him.
Shakti Kapoor claps his hands and says, "Okay girls, let's get started. I'm going to be sitting on this chair here. All of you queue up and say to me one by one, 'Ballll-mah!' With feeling, okay?"
Shrill shrieks invade the room as all the girls run helter skelter. SSSK also runs back towards the stage. Mahesh Bhatt looks up. He is surprised to see that not a single girl is present for the audition. Then the restroom door opens and Shraddha Kapoor walks in, looking confused.
"Ek hi hai, sir." SSSK says, panting.
Mahesh Bhatt shakes his head.
"Tsk tsk! I knew this could happen. After watching Sunny Leone in Jism, no one wants to do a debut with us anymore. Sigh. Theek hai, yeh jo bhi hai, isko sign kar lo."
"Okay, sir."
"Ladkon ka kya haal hai? Any good ones?"
Sayesha looks at the sea of boys and starts counting.
"Sir, there are 187 boys here today. 186 of them have long rebonded hair, with a very silky lock falling over one eye."
Mahesh Bhatt does a facepalm. "Sheesh. Why do they think we will cast a Rahul Roy look-alike??"
"Sir, this is Aashiqui 2. Obviously, it is expected to follow up on the original, isn't it? Leap and all that. Hai na?"
"Leap??? LEAP?? Mujhe Ekta Kapoor samjha hai??"
"Oh, sorry. Is it a remake then??"
"Remake?? Mujhe Sajid Khan samjha hai??"
"Sir, why is it called Aashiqui 2, sir? Sequel hai na?"
"SIGH. Was Jism 2 the sequel of Jism 1? Was Murder 2 the sequel of Murder 1???"
"Hmmm... point taken. But sir, what is with these numbers? Why Jism 1/2, Murder 1/2/3, Zeher 1/2...? Why not totally fresh titles??"
"Tum nahin samjhogi. All this is just in the interim. I am about to start on my masterpiece soon. It will not have any 1, 2, 3. It will be the grandest project of my life, with the biggest superstar and the freshest title, my biggest blockbuster, the ultimate Bhatt Productions' movie..."
Mahesh Bhatt zones out, staring blankly into space.
"Sir? Sir!"
"Huh? Haan haan... I'm here. Achha this 187th chap, what's he like? I mean what's his hair like?"
"Afro hai, sir."
"Afro hai???"
"Yes, sir."
"Very good! As different from straight silky hair as... err... an Afro. Any other details about him?"
"Sir, main abhi baat karke aaya hoon. SRK ka bhai hai, sir." One of the other assistants says.
"WHAT?!!" Mahesh Bhatt is stunned.
"Sir, I think he's lying. SRK does not have a brother." SSSK says, outraged.
"Arre you don't know, all these Khans have brothers. Aamir ka bhi hai aur Salman ka bhi. SRK must also have one then." says the assistant.
"Naam kya hai is ladke ka?" Mahesh Bhatt asks.
"Koi Kapoor hai, sir." The assistant says.
"Kapoor??! Ha! I knew it. How can SRK's brother be a Kapoor???" SSSK says indignantly.
"Arre, actors change names all the time. Akshay Kumar is actually Rajeev Bhatia. Mallika Sherawat is Reema Lamba. Kapoor is trending right now, isne bhi naam change kar liya hoga. Ya ho sakta hai koi cousin hoga SRK ka?"
"Sir, don't be hasty. Let me find out more..." SSSK says.
"Nothing doing. He does not have Rahul Roy type of hair, and he's related to SRK. Aur kya chahiye? Finally my dream project will be launched. With SRK on board." Mahesh Bhatt starts zoning again.
"You want to do a film with SRK?" SSSK asks.
"Since forever! But he has no time for me. Well, now he will. Because I will make a star out of his kid brother. He will have to repay me by playing the lead in my mega venture."
"The mega venture you mentioned earlier?" SSSK asks.
"Yes. This movie will be an amalgamation of everything Bhatt Productions stands for."
"Sir, title kya hai? You said it will not have any numbers and will be the freshest title ever."
"Correct. The title is 'Paapi Jism ke Zeher se Murder ke Woh Lamhe'.
SSSK's jaw drops. She shakes her head in disbelief.
"Quick. Go, sign him." says Mahesh Bhatt.
SSSK walks over to the boy with the Afro. He looks strangely familiar.
As he signs the contract and hands it over to her, she says, "Errr... I need to check on a few things in your portfolio."
"Yes?"
"You are SRK's brother? Like, really?"
"That's right. I am not only SRK's brother, I'm also a brother to KRK."
"KRK? That loony bin KRK??"
"Oh no, not that. I meant Kunaal Roy Kapoor. Woh Delhi Belly wala?"
"WAIT A MINUTE! So by SRK, you mean..."
"Sidharth Roy Kapoor, CEO, UTV. Mr. Vidya Balan. Why, what did you think?"
Tuesday, April 09, 2013
Loopy and looping
Ok, so I made this totally amazing discovery today and I can't sleep tonight unless I have stuck a big fat notice on the bar's noticeboard about this.
Remember the last time when all the songs of a Hindi movie used to be good? No? Frankly speaking, me neither. Okay, how about the time when almost all songs of a Hindi movie used to be good? Somewhat? I'm thinking Parineeta, Jism, etc. Yeah, so that doesn't happen anymore. (Several folks recommended Talaash and Barfi to me, but I didn't find it all that loop-worthy after a few times. I was also very disappointed with Rockstar - both the music and the movie.) These days, I consider myself lucky if I like one song in the album. One song that is not gimmicky or 'designed' to be a chartbuster. One song with some proper lyrics, if not poetry in it, one song that does not say inane things like ishq wala love (I still maintain that the tune is lovely though) or talk about Munni's/Sheila's/Chameli's assets and abilities. There have been flashes in the pan like 'Saibo' and 'Mora piya' but they don't come by often.
Though I'm still in touch with what new movies are in the pipeline, lately I've stopped following music albums of new movies. I don't know what's out there anymore and I don't care. The last time I listened to the weekly top 15 in the hope of finding just one good new song, I was disgusted. Seriously. Sample these songs - Totey ud gaye, Punjabiyan di battery, babli badmaash, main senti hoon, lat lag gayee. (Check it out yourself if you don't believe me; these songs are still in the top 15 of several charts).
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not being a Bollysongsnob here. I like my 'Soni de nakhre' kind of songs as much as the next guy, and I am all for them in the gym, but some days I just want to lie back and be consumed by a song, totally soaked in it, the music and lyrics washing over me, the song in its entirety actually moving me (and by moving me, I don't mean head-bobbing to kaindi ponnn ponnn ponnn). And I don't find anything. Yes, I often go back to the oldies, but a nice new surprise every now and then would be so nice, wouldn't it? Especially one that has no video associated with it in your head yet, just the song itself and nothing else.
So I was writing this chapter explaining electromagnets to 10-year-olds when I realised that I needed some music to cheer me up (electromagnets get depressing after exactly half an hour). And I don't know why, but I went to check out new movie albums, something I hadn't done in a while. Boy, am I glad I did. I saw the poster of Aashiqui 2, and said to myself - why not? As the first strains of the first song 'Tum hi ho' filled the room, I sat up. Electromagnets be damned, this was an actual good song. Holy cow. Imagine my total shock when the next song 'Sun raha hai' turned out to be even more mind-blowing. Was this possible? Two good songs in one movie? A movie following the pathetic trend of unrelated sequels? Surely this was a practical joke? A very cruel one at that. Maybe the file names were wrong? So I googled 'Aashiqui 2' music review. And it turns out I'm not the only one who loves the songs. Of course, I am aware that I could be over-gushing as a result of the 'Bhikhari ko bheek, jo bhi miley theek' syndrome, but I have to say I have not played an album on loop all day for a very very long time now. And I did that today. Almost all the songs are great, and I won't nitpick too much on minor details (e.g. some songs sound too Pritam-ish and I hope they are not lifted off Korean tunes, and the inconsistent use of pronouns - 'Hum tere bin ab reh nahin sakte, tere bina kya wajood mera', and the song 'Hum mar jayenge' which is quite meh. And oh, I just can't my head around 'Apne karam ki kar adaayein'. Something doesn't seem right. It should be 'ataayein', shouldn't it?).
The truth is - I felt good listening to Bollywood music. Real good. After a very long time. (I even went and checked out the movie's trailer. Vidya Balan's devarji looks promising, but I'm not too sure about Shakti Kapoor's daughter. She might be all right; I figure I just can't get the 'auuu' out of my mind. Might do an SSSK post on the movie at some point.)
It's a bit hard to describe what the songs did to me. The closest would be the kind of feeling songs like 'Is tarah aashiqui ka asar' or 'Pehla nasha' or 'Tere dar par sanam chale aaye' did to us in our teenage years. Now they may make us shake our collective heads and laugh, but back then, those songs made us feel something. They enveloped us. Made us more alive. Filled our hearts with something that we did not realise would probably never come back to us when we were older.
So there. There is still hope in the world. All is not lost. If you want some of the sunshine I soaked in today, click here now.
Wednesday, April 03, 2013
The warrior princess diaries - XI
My last post in the warrior princess diaries series was last year! To catch up, I have compiled the last three months of Xena's antics in this one.
Let me start with a video from early January, where she shows off her Nemo-drawing prowess!
Over the last few months, have been telling me that she's now starting to look more like me. Yahooo! But I wonder if it's because her hair has gotten more and more junglee... Oh, did I mention that I have been asked at least three times by complete strangers, "Your baby has such nice curls! Are they natural?" HUH?! No, I took my baby to a salon and got a colour+perm.
Anyway, junglee hair aside, she still has a lot of Viv's virgo traits even though she's not one. For example, she is very particular that the windows be closed when it rains heavily. Check this out.
She had a vocabulary explosion in the last few months. She attempts to say long words, and the results are hilarious. I actually miss the way she used to mispronounce some words, and Viv and I actually pronounce them the way she does. E.g. lubbindand (rubber band), codykyle (crocodile), tammyter (thermometer), mycocove (microwave), afantant (elephant) and coolinform (school uniform).
Cliched as it may sound, it is indeed amazing to see the world through a kid's eyes. Like the time she pointed to a tree and loudly exclaimed, "BLOCCOLI!!" Or how she thinks it's perfectly normal to try and high-five a cat. I kid you not. She actually walked up to a cat, fearlessly looked it in the eye, raised her hand and said, "High five?" We pass by a bird shop on the way back from her school, and every time, she exclaims, "Parrot! Hug parrot!" She has never once hugged any of her soft toys (including a parrot) but she wants to hug live animals. Great.
Then there was the time she questioned the lack of eyebrows on a fish. Seriously. She handed me her drawing board and asked me to draw Nemo. I drew it and pointed out its various body parts to her - eyes, mouth, fins, tail, etc. She looked at it for a while and then asked, "Eyeblouse??"
I am still keeping her totally away from TV and maximising one-to-one interactions with her. She is off to school in the morning and I use that time to catch up on my freelance writing deadlines. In the afternoon, we read books, play with blocks, make random things with play doh and have lately started on some fingerpainting too! Recently, she had a project at school (yes, apparently 2-year-olds also have school projects!) to make a crab using anything and with some help from google and mommy, this is what she came up with. 'Hand'-made by Xena.
I think I get too excited about her projects and toys than she does. I'm also getting good at this play doh stuff. Check out my Angry Birds!
I'm also trying to get her to be more independent, such as letting her take her shoes and diapers off, and making sure she cleans up after playing. She knows she can only go out in the evening (we alternate between going to the beach and the playground in the evenings) if she has cleaned up after playing. She even says "Tablap!" as she cleans. Tablap being 'tidy up'. Oh, the other day, she pointed to the mess on my drawing table and commanded, "Tablap!"
In January, we went on a short vacation to Phuket. We chose Mai Khao beach, far away from the crowds, and it was heavenly.
For Chinese New Year, I had bought her a traditional cheongsam which she wore to school. To our surprise, her teacher was wearing the exact same pattern, in an adult size!
Speaking of outfits, I have dusted my very old sewing machine and started a bit of sewing. And who better than Xena to be my guinea pig. I had zero confidence about sewing anything for her so I started off slow. We don't use bolsters so I always have new bolster cases that are just lying around. So I took one of them, cut it in half and made two dresses for her! The response from family and friends has been good so I might actually buy fabric and make something with it.
School is going great, and she is having fun. Wednesdays are her favourite because it's water play day and she gets to "pla-pla" ("splash splash") to her heart's content. Even her teachers say that the moment they take her swimsuit out of her bag, she exclaims, "Pla-pla!!!" The school takes photos of all daily activities and uploads them for parents to see.
On 7th March, they had sports day at school! Her class was asked to scoop water in a mug from a tub kept at one end of the field, run to the other end and empty it into the tub kept there. She was having so much fun pouring the water out, she poured it out three times midway, and almost splashed the parents at one point. It was great fun. Of course, they didn't take my suggestion of putting some food at the start line, otherwise she'd have won all the races.
Her teachers have taught her how to make the "happy face" and now she does it on demand (see below).
They are also very patient in trying to feed her because I have told them that that is the most important reason why we have enrolled her in school -- to make eat. They write me a daily note on what she ate and what she rejected. Her Mandarin teacher who speaks only a little English told me, "She no chew!" The main issue aside, I think it's a great Chinese nickname for her - She No Chew! What do you think?
I think school has definitely helped her eating. She still doesn't eat much or willingly, but she does take some interest in having a few grains of rice or a few strands of noodles, and a teaspoon of her current favourite -- aloo bhujia! I'm waiting to see the day when she willingly eats normal portions, and climbs up the height and weight chart. She is still below the 3rd percentile for weight, and painfully reminds me of it at times. Such as last week, when we were out shirt-shopping for Viv. She peeled off a sticker from a stack of T-shirts and stuck it on herself. And guess what the sticker said? It said, very accurately, 'XXS'.
During one of our beach walks, we spotted a sleeping cat. As usual, she wanted to hug and high-five it. I told her, "The cat is sleeping, baby. Don't disturb it." She repeated, "Don dittub." and we moved on. On the way back, we saw the cat again and it was now wide awake. Xena looked up at me and asked, "Dittub?" I didn't know what to say except laugh. She makes me laugh a lot. Like the time she was watching me eat lunch. As I ate the last spoonful, she peered into my bowl and asked, "Fingdish?" Then she clapped her hands and said, "Good baby!"
Well, now she has graduated from referring to every human being as "baby". She can now tell who's a baby (can't walk), who's a boy or a girl (can walk and talk), and who's a grown-up ("uncle" or "aunty", depending solely on length of hair I believe). Once, she saw a lady with very short hair, pointed straight to her and loudly said, "UNCLE! AUNTY?? UNCLE?? UNCLE!!!" *mommyfacepalm*
Well, this was not the first time I had a *mommyfacepalm* moment. At home, I involve her when I fold washed laundry, and have along the way taught her the names of different kinds of clothes. When we were in Phuket, she saw this lady stepping out of the sea wearing a bikini, pointed straight at her chest and loudly exclaimed, "BRAAAAA!"
And it continues. We were at the road crossing yesterday and I was giving her a refresher on the red man, green man and the flashing green man. We had crossed half-way (along with other people) when she looked up, saw the flashing green man, pointed and yelled at the top of her voice, "FLASHING UNCLE!!!!" *mommyfacepalmagain* Let there be no flashing uncles on the roads, please! :O
I'll end with this video, as it's one of her latest. She's pointing out, "Dhoop aa gayi!" and that it's time for mommy to perform her daily shadow play.
Let me start with a video from early January, where she shows off her Nemo-drawing prowess!
Over the last few months, have been telling me that she's now starting to look more like me. Yahooo! But I wonder if it's because her hair has gotten more and more junglee... Oh, did I mention that I have been asked at least three times by complete strangers, "Your baby has such nice curls! Are they natural?" HUH?! No, I took my baby to a salon and got a colour+perm.
Anyway, junglee hair aside, she still has a lot of Viv's virgo traits even though she's not one. For example, she is very particular that the windows be closed when it rains heavily. Check this out.
She had a vocabulary explosion in the last few months. She attempts to say long words, and the results are hilarious. I actually miss the way she used to mispronounce some words, and Viv and I actually pronounce them the way she does. E.g. lubbindand (rubber band), codykyle (crocodile), tammyter (thermometer), mycocove (microwave), afantant (elephant) and coolinform (school uniform).
Cliched as it may sound, it is indeed amazing to see the world through a kid's eyes. Like the time she pointed to a tree and loudly exclaimed, "BLOCCOLI!!" Or how she thinks it's perfectly normal to try and high-five a cat. I kid you not. She actually walked up to a cat, fearlessly looked it in the eye, raised her hand and said, "High five?" We pass by a bird shop on the way back from her school, and every time, she exclaims, "Parrot! Hug parrot!" She has never once hugged any of her soft toys (including a parrot) but she wants to hug live animals. Great.
Then there was the time she questioned the lack of eyebrows on a fish. Seriously. She handed me her drawing board and asked me to draw Nemo. I drew it and pointed out its various body parts to her - eyes, mouth, fins, tail, etc. She looked at it for a while and then asked, "Eyeblouse??"
I am still keeping her totally away from TV and maximising one-to-one interactions with her. She is off to school in the morning and I use that time to catch up on my freelance writing deadlines. In the afternoon, we read books, play with blocks, make random things with play doh and have lately started on some fingerpainting too! Recently, she had a project at school (yes, apparently 2-year-olds also have school projects!) to make a crab using anything and with some help from google and mommy, this is what she came up with. 'Hand'-made by Xena.
I think I get too excited about her projects and toys than she does. I'm also getting good at this play doh stuff. Check out my Angry Birds!
I'm also trying to get her to be more independent, such as letting her take her shoes and diapers off, and making sure she cleans up after playing. She knows she can only go out in the evening (we alternate between going to the beach and the playground in the evenings) if she has cleaned up after playing. She even says "Tablap!" as she cleans. Tablap being 'tidy up'. Oh, the other day, she pointed to the mess on my drawing table and commanded, "Tablap!"
In January, we went on a short vacation to Phuket. We chose Mai Khao beach, far away from the crowds, and it was heavenly.
For Chinese New Year, I had bought her a traditional cheongsam which she wore to school. To our surprise, her teacher was wearing the exact same pattern, in an adult size!
Speaking of outfits, I have dusted my very old sewing machine and started a bit of sewing. And who better than Xena to be my guinea pig. I had zero confidence about sewing anything for her so I started off slow. We don't use bolsters so I always have new bolster cases that are just lying around. So I took one of them, cut it in half and made two dresses for her! The response from family and friends has been good so I might actually buy fabric and make something with it.
School is going great, and she is having fun. Wednesdays are her favourite because it's water play day and she gets to "pla-pla" ("splash splash") to her heart's content. Even her teachers say that the moment they take her swimsuit out of her bag, she exclaims, "Pla-pla!!!" The school takes photos of all daily activities and uploads them for parents to see.
On 7th March, they had sports day at school! Her class was asked to scoop water in a mug from a tub kept at one end of the field, run to the other end and empty it into the tub kept there. She was having so much fun pouring the water out, she poured it out three times midway, and almost splashed the parents at one point. It was great fun. Of course, they didn't take my suggestion of putting some food at the start line, otherwise she'd have won all the races.
Her teachers have taught her how to make the "happy face" and now she does it on demand (see below).
They are also very patient in trying to feed her because I have told them that that is the most important reason why we have enrolled her in school -- to make eat. They write me a daily note on what she ate and what she rejected. Her Mandarin teacher who speaks only a little English told me, "She no chew!" The main issue aside, I think it's a great Chinese nickname for her - She No Chew! What do you think?
I think school has definitely helped her eating. She still doesn't eat much or willingly, but she does take some interest in having a few grains of rice or a few strands of noodles, and a teaspoon of her current favourite -- aloo bhujia! I'm waiting to see the day when she willingly eats normal portions, and climbs up the height and weight chart. She is still below the 3rd percentile for weight, and painfully reminds me of it at times. Such as last week, when we were out shirt-shopping for Viv. She peeled off a sticker from a stack of T-shirts and stuck it on herself. And guess what the sticker said? It said, very accurately, 'XXS'.
During one of our beach walks, we spotted a sleeping cat. As usual, she wanted to hug and high-five it. I told her, "The cat is sleeping, baby. Don't disturb it." She repeated, "Don dittub." and we moved on. On the way back, we saw the cat again and it was now wide awake. Xena looked up at me and asked, "Dittub?" I didn't know what to say except laugh. She makes me laugh a lot. Like the time she was watching me eat lunch. As I ate the last spoonful, she peered into my bowl and asked, "Fingdish?" Then she clapped her hands and said, "Good baby!"
Well, now she has graduated from referring to every human being as "baby". She can now tell who's a baby (can't walk), who's a boy or a girl (can walk and talk), and who's a grown-up ("uncle" or "aunty", depending solely on length of hair I believe). Once, she saw a lady with very short hair, pointed straight to her and loudly said, "UNCLE! AUNTY?? UNCLE?? UNCLE!!!" *mommyfacepalm*
Well, this was not the first time I had a *mommyfacepalm* moment. At home, I involve her when I fold washed laundry, and have along the way taught her the names of different kinds of clothes. When we were in Phuket, she saw this lady stepping out of the sea wearing a bikini, pointed straight at her chest and loudly exclaimed, "BRAAAAA!"
And it continues. We were at the road crossing yesterday and I was giving her a refresher on the red man, green man and the flashing green man. We had crossed half-way (along with other people) when she looked up, saw the flashing green man, pointed and yelled at the top of her voice, "FLASHING UNCLE!!!!" *mommyfacepalmagain* Let there be no flashing uncles on the roads, please! :O
I'll end with this video, as it's one of her latest. She's pointing out, "Dhoop aa gayi!" and that it's time for mommy to perform her daily shadow play.
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