I still have to give it to the phone though. It coughed and spluttered and revived itself, and chugged along for another four months. And then SOMEBODY dropped it. I won't say who that SOMEBODY was, but I can tell you it was the same person who was silly enough to put a water bottle and a phone in the same compartment of the bag. And from there, it went downhill. Like a cat, it died and resurrected itself some nine times. The most effective strategy I used to revive it whenever it died involved a lot of thought and precision -- I had to determine the exact height from which to release it so that it neatly divided itself into four components, which then had to be immediately put together and the phone would become fully functional. For another three and a half hours.
It was in the middle of this that I wondered if it was time to recontract with my service provider, who would then put me out of my misery by giving me a new phone with my new contract. I figured it was best to get a smartphone, but without any smart features that would distract me and/or Xena and turn me into a smartphone-wielding zombie. At the same time, I could take good pictures and perhaps use WhatsApp only on WiFi for all the events I organise with others who only use WhatsApp. It would surely avoid stuff like the Easter party fiasco. And guess what? It was indeed time to recontract. So we went to the shop and had a look at all the phones. There were a few free phones they were offering with a new contract and Viv, after using his HTC to read reviews and comparisons, remarked how good some of them were. "The smartphone industry is getting really competitive," he remarked. I nodded smartly.
Anyway, they offered me a $50 voucher for the new contract and told me I could use it to offset against the value of my new phone. We picked the Asus Zenfone, which they were offering for $48. The first thing that struck me about the phone was how big it was. Wait a minute, weren't phones getting smaller and smaller at some point? Weren't the smallest phones the coolest phones? When did they start getting bigger again, and most importantly, where was I? Anyway, with a beating heart, I held my new phone and observed it as it did cool and scary things that I was not familiar with.
"So now I need a screen protector." I said, brimming with the confidence that only people who have never had smartphones exude.
"Oh no, don't." said Viv. "It will interfere with the resolution." I nodded smartly again as if I really understood how it would impact my life.
Viv doesn't like any phone accessories. I have to admit though -- his phone actually looks sleek. Kinda naked, but sleek. So I knew where the conversation was headed.
"Ok, but I surely need a cover for the phone." I declared.
"No, bad idea." He said.
What was with all this negativity, dude? I decided to fight it out.
"I need a cover."
"You don't really need a cover. It makes the phone look ugly."
"I need a cover. What if it falls and breaks? WHAT IF I DROP MY BRAND NEW PHONE AND IT BREAKS?" I tried to make a strong point by speaking in all caps.
And then he provided me with the solution. A solution so simple and elegant and amazing that it reminded me all over again why I married this brilliant Homo sapien. A solution, which I think should be immediately shared with the entire humanity so that billions of deprived smartphone owners all over the world can partake of its amazingness.
"Don't drop it." He said, shrugging his shoulders.